~ THE Chuck Norris Topic ~ let's have some fun!

Some jokes about Chuck Norris are really funny and there are so many jokes about him ^^

I guess we can make a topic about it!

Post your bests Chuck Norris' jokes and have a laugh


1) Chuck Norris has counted all the way to infinity , twice...


2) Google is the only place where you can hit Chuck Norris ( hit your keyboard)


3) When Google can't find something, Google ask Chuck Norris


4) There is no evolution theory , Only Chuck Norris can decide which species survives or not.



your turn :p

Chuck Norris tears can heal cancer, but he is that hardcore, that he never cried even once..

And most stupid joke I ever heard:

Chuck Norris was in McDonalds...

I've found another one, a good one

Switzerland is not neutral , they're just waiting to see on which side Chuck Norris is going..

and this one too


One day, Chuck Norris has lost his wedding ring , now it is war on Middle Earth ( cf LOTR )

and a last one ^^

One day, Chuck Norris decided to teach the Jeet Kun Do to some young disabled persons. That's how the Tecktonic is born..

I love that one
but dunno if it is funny in english

Chuck norris took part in the island of tentation ( = ile de la tentation, french reality tv game)
result : 10 women pregnant, 9 guys dead

hehe funny ^^

I liek that one too:

In france, we say to the little childrens who don't want to eat their dish that a big mad and terrifc man will come and eat them!
In the US, they do the same , telling them it is Chuck Norris
now look at obesity in the US.

God said: " the light is" and chuck Norris answered : say plz (in bad english xD )

corrected :p

but dunno if it is " the light is" , I can't remeber how to say it right :s

Chuck dont fear death, death fear Chuck

when Chuck talk, the universe listen

ekathos wrote:

Chuck dont fear death, death fear Chuck

when Chuck talk, the universe listen

Hahah some nice ones..

But if he would talk, the very end of universe will hear that in xxxxxx time ^^

Chuck Norris died at 75 what happens is that death is not worth telling.

Chuck noriis is the only man capable of giving a door in a revolving door

men have god, god has a chuck norris

some people have underwears with Superman on it..

Well Superman has an underwear with Chuck Norris on it !

1. When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down.

2. The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the 3. destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.

4. If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.

5. Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them.

6. Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

7. There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

8. Some kids piss their names in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in concrete.

9. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

10. Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com/